Separation of Love and Self

One hard life lesson I’m having to learn, unfortunately it seems I’m learning it the hard way, is that love has nothing to do with me. I’m having ‘growing pains’ if you will. In order to love someone you have to put yourself to the side, you have to make that person the main priority and put their dreams and desires ahead of your own. The perfect example of this is Jesus. You may say to yourself, “Oh, I knew he’d say that!” or “How typical.” I’m doing nothing but stating the obvious.

“He must become greater; I must become less.” _John 3:30 NIV

Every time I think about myself before someone else I…disable myself from loving them. This is truly one of the hardest concepts I’ve ever had to endure and it will be a life-long process. I know the one way I will be able to fully love is if I start with this verse and make sure He is always increasing and if I ever see myself increasing more than He then I need to step back because I’m AWOL.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it is very important to be able to love yourself as well but when we put ourselves aside and make Him the priority and let Him increase – we are increasing as well. We find our value in Him. Everything flows from Him.

We need to separate love and our selfish desires. We need to rise above and realize what love truly is, what it incorporates. I don’t ever want to stand in the way of God’s love for me or for someone else.

Fearless

I had one of the best moments of my marriage with my wife this past weekend. We got some ice cream, turned on some Future of Forestry and then just drove. We ended up just talking about our passions and life dreams and how we were doing with those and how we can help one another achieve those. During the course of this conversation my wife said something that struck a HUGE chord with me that I won’t ever forget.

“You are so fearless.”

The words came out of her mouth and I couldn’t believe she said them. I had to ask her to expand upon what she meant because from my perspective I would never describe myself as a person who is fearless. In fact, I have huge fears. Fears of failure, fears of disappointment, fears of never living up to what is expected of me from friends, family and most importantly, God. So for her to sit there and say she thinks I’m fearless blew me away.

I will do everything I can to live up to that description. The more I’ve thought about it the more I realize that no one has the need to live with fear. We all have the authority of God in us, His spirit lives within us and we can go forth with confidence in what we do. I want, more than anything, to truly live a life fearless. Fearless of taking risks, taking random trips, not always trying to please everyone around me but making sure I please Him. Being able to love fearlessly as well. Opening up all the way, not hiding anything and bursting forth with integrity and love that only comes from above. It won’t be easy to live this life of being fearless but the best part is that it’s possible. So to myself and everyone reading this…

You are so fearless.

Thoughts From An Airplane

The following are thoughts that I had looking out of my window seat on the airplane ride back from my honeymoon. Some are serious and some are more care-free but all have serious intent behind them and come from my heart.

• I truly don’t understand and/or comprehend the vastness of Earth, let alone space.
• Up here everything seems so small and insignificant. Why does it become such a big and scary deal once I’m back with my feet on the ground?
• If God can create all of this in one second with one word than why do I worry about controlling everything?
• Taking perspective on an issue can really help me see the bigger picture (or problem). Taking perspective is no longer a suggestion, it’s a necessity to successful communication, clarity of thought content, focus, and love.
• Getting away and out of contact is vital to communication with God and His Spirit. Everyday life is the biggest wedge between God and myself.
• To feel comfortable in the man-made world is to be foreign in God’s creation. God calls people out of the city and into the wilderness. What does this tell me about my connection to the Spirit?
• Men have been trying to figure out the meaning of life for thousands of years; what makes me think I’ll figure it out? The pursuit of anything other than God will surely lead to death with no life afterwards.
• If I feel emptiness in my life I have lost focus on what matters most in life; Christ. (Losing focus can be attributed to not dying to my flesh daily.)
• No matter where I am, God is always there. It may feel foreign to me but it’s home to Him.
• There is too big of a barrier between God’s people all over Earth and the ocean is not a variable in this equation.
• Man-made technological advances have given us the ability to communicate more effectively but we refuse due to minor differences in upbringing, religion, doctrine, tribe, nationality and a bunch of other excuses that drive the nail in further.
• I’d fly if I had enough faith.
• I’d enjoy God’s creation fully if I had enough faith.
• A lack of self-confidence equals a distrust in God.
• God sacrificed the Earth so humans could live; nature suffers from human existence.

_C.Gates

Change

Life is all about change. How we deal with it, use it, and cope with it. Recently my fiance and I went through the pre-marital counseling process and we did an assessment to, for lack of a better term, ‘evaluate’ ourselves and see where we line up and don’t. We were both very different when it came to how we handled change. I’ve been experiencing a lot of change and will continue to experience even more due to my upcoming wedding.

During my teens (gosh I feel old saying that!) I had to “mature” a little quicker than others perhaps when my family and I had to move from Colorado to Pennsylvania. Colorado was my home, it was my life, it was everything that I had ever known. There was no denying it, it was really happening and I could either make the process a whole lot worse by pitching a fit or accepting it and trying to embrace it for the best. Overall I feel I handled it quite well but there were rough moments. After finishing high school in Pennsylvania, I then found a university in Tennessee and moved once again, but this time without my family. I did not know one single person. I made the best of that situation as well. Now I have graduated, been graduated for about 2 years now, and am in the work force and it is a DRASTIC difference from college life (my Dad can attest to how much I ‘lived’ it up in college, haha). Those were the days. I’m riddled with bills, responsibility, money management, time management, etc. Looking back on this paragraph it is crazy to see how much change I have experienced since 2002. I really should be a much more bitter and resentful person but I’m not. I’m happy.

My point I’m getting at is we can either be pissed with how things are or we can embrace them and see what good has come out of the change. I grew closer to my family through the move, I became so much more self-confident by going to college in Tennessee, I found my soon-to-be wife, I’ve gained another family, have life long friendships, a job that helps at-risk youth and I’m financially stable. My change has enabled me to be successful, but only because I embraced it.

We have to embrace the change or else it’s going to be a terrible road ahead of us. Why would we want to make it harder for ourselves? I know there are those that have experienced much more drastic and difficult change then me and they would probably state, “Well, you haven’t been through what I’ve been through – I have a right to be upset.” Do you really? Do I? The harsh, but true, answer is no. If you are reading this then that automatically means you have the comfort of the internet, which outside the borders of America, becomes a luxury.

Let’s stop complaining and whining. Let’s look past our self. See the bigger picture. There is something much bigger happening here and without the change we’d 1) miss it, 2) never see the bigger picture and 3) never move past that ‘moment’ that forever scared us. I’ll simply leave you with this: A pastor was talking about change during a service I was attending at my church back in Colorado (before the move) and he stated that we are all trying to go from point ‘A’ to point ‘C’ but to get to point ‘C’ we had to go through ‘B’ first. If you don’t experience that change and if you don’t go through point ‘B’ then we’ll just miss it. That’s been over 8 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Think back 2, 5, 10 years ago and look what you have gone through, who has helped you along the way and how much you have changed. Some will be nasty moments and some will be life altering. Without this change you would not be the person you are today sitting here reading these words. My soon-to-be Father-in-law (I love using hyphens!) told my fiance that you should always remember those that helped you get to where you are today. I say those are worthy words to live by.

_C.Gates

Life’s “oomph”

It’s all quite comical to me, life that is. It is so intricate yet can be so simplistic. I cannot even seem to make a coherent, cognitive thought about the whole process of life. We are born one day and then are continually learning, struggling, growing, hurting, healing, searching and all for what? For me it’s simple – love.

I don’t know if you can relate with me or not but there is just a part of me that I can never get a word on. I cannot describe it but there is just something that happens to me when I hear a moving, powerful song or see someone change their life around. A good, inspirational movie or an article about someone changing the world one person at a time. I just get this urge, this feeling, this desire to do something more. I desire the passion and the love in my life that creates that “oomph” that makes people truly the spectacular creation that we are. I’ve found the love of my life which has provided that “oomph” to change myself and start to embrace the potential that is within myself. But I’m not just talking about when boy meets girl. I truly get upset with myself when I hear a very powerful song or see a movie where someone did something that no one else has done or is afraid to do and the question runs through my mind, “What am I doing with my time, my love, my desires, my life?”

We’ve (humankind) have been given such a special gift of being able to conquer, triumph, achieve and excel in the face of adversity, hardships and disbeliefs. It makes me so mad when those hardships get the best of me and I just accept them instead of fighting through them and showing the power that was created within me. We all have it but most of us have become complacent. That’s why we see those movies, hear those songs, read those articles where people do extraordinary things and instead of acting upon those feelings that well up inside, we simply say, “Good for them, more power to them.”

I’m not sure where you are but I’m almost positive that everyone has felt that longing inside to rise above this everyday mundane lifestyle that we seem to slip into. I don’t blame you or myself because our society has been engineered in that manner but I’m ready for something more, something epic. Let’s do something epic, something that no one thought we could do but because of who we are and how we were created, all things are possible.

*Download or search for the song Your Hand In Mine by Explosions in the Sky and truly take time out to listen to the music. Reflect upon your life: where you are, what you are doing and compare those answers to what your passions are, your desires. Do they match up or are you just trying to get by?*

C.Gates

My Fire

You are my fire.

It’s like Pandora’s box, unimaginable.
It’s like God’s love, non-comprehendable.
When there are no words to describe it, the melodies of life enforce it.

The clouds nestled amongst the hillsides, alike my morning breath against Fall’s atmosphere.
The creeping Sun peaks, allowing rays of warmth to cascade into every crevasse of life.
The beauty of it all ignites my fire within.

The continual cycle of a new day giving birth to new opportunities that were missed yesterday, allow dreams and desires to arise anew.
The epic nature of life itself instilled within me, once again.
His beauty is simply undeniable.
His sacrifice continues to ring true.
I cannot take my eyes off of you.

How I long to allow my fire to spread but fear snuffs it like a cold Winter’s breeze.
For my fire is igniting in seeing you and regardless of the bitterness, my heart continues to beat in the expansion of my chest.
May fortitude remains in every breath I take, for you I will always be pursuing.

For you are my fire.

C.Gates

Golfers World

Many things that I partake in give light to similarities within my worldview. This one in particular is about golfing. If any of you know me, I’m a bit of a golfer, a fledgeling golfer more or less. I love the game and the amount of strength both mentally and physically it requires. The whole game is in the hands of the individual. I was golfing the other day and I started to notice a couple things in particular. Now, if you are not a golfer this metaphor will really make no sense to you but for those golfers out there, I’m sure you will relate quite well.

1. The rules bend very well while with friends. If you are playing with some good buddies or family then the rules aren’t as strict or crucial as say the PGA tour. The funny thing is, if you ever play with someone who you don’t really know, the rules, all the sudden, define the type of golfer you are. When you are with your friends you are relaxed, having fun, not trying to impress anyone but when it comes to a stranger’s perspective of you, you’re the guy who lives and dies by the rules. My connection? When at Church, if you are with people you know well you may be inclined to not sing or sit down during some of the songs, but if you are sitting next to someone you do not know, we follow the rules like our parents are going to ground us if we don’t behave.

2. Go easy on the new guy. In golf, if you play with someone better than you they tend to ‘give’ putts to you that are no where near gimmies (a putt that you could not miss no matter how bad you are – typically the putt is the length of the putter away from the hole). I remember one time I was playing with a couple people and they were clearly better than me, I have no problem admitting my lack of skill, and would give me putts that where 5 – 8 feet out from the hole! How does that come across? To me it’s like saying, “Hey, I want you to have fun and not feel terrible because I’m spanking you right now, go ahead and give yourself that one!” Or, “Hey, you suck and you are slowing me down so just pick up the ball!” That is ridiculously hurtful! To me, if you don’t try, you won’t learn. It feels better to actually earn it then for it to be given to you. In Church, I see this as the ‘old’ Christian versus the ‘new’ Christian. The ‘veteran’ Christian will give leeway to the ‘youngster’ as to not make him fee like he failed or cannot make it. What good does it do to hand someone a crutch and expect them to use it? It should be encouragement, from the Christian and golfer, to the other to take the shot, go for it, have confidence and learn from your mistakes. Now, I’m not perfect at this, I have many times been the victim, unfortunately, but I have also victimized people with my golf skill or ‘knowledge’ about Christianity.

There are many other points I could make about this comparison between the golf world and the Christian world. I see a lot of things happen that really shouldn’t and the sad truth is I don’t do anything about it. It’s very easy for me to sit here and write about this but never do anything about it. What would be some ways to go about making these changes? What similarities do you see? In what ways do you already see this change occurring? Let me know! I always want to see change and be encouraged by it. This post is really a challenge to me more so than y’all but if it helps you too, then awesome. There are many sports, activities, scenarios, etc. where we can see these types of comparisons, but I hope from them they stimulate change and a desire to further our own relationships with Christ because it makes us change before we can be the change.

_C.Gates

Thumbs Up

I’m sure most of you know the game when you are with a group of people or your family, either at home or at a restaurant, the last person to put their thumbs up has to pray. You familiar? Good.

I was at a restaurant one time with some close friends of mine and the food was brought out and immediately thumbs started flying up. My good buddy ended up being last and the first words out of his mouth when he saw he was last were, “damnit.” I have to admit that I laughed a good bit about this due to the shear shock and how caught off guard I was. This incident in no way has affected our friendship. But this really brings me to my point: Why are we so afraid or unwilling to pray or be seen praying?

I think that the game should really go whoever gets their thumbs up first gets to pray for the food and everyone gathered around. I know without a doubt that I don’t comprehend the true power of prayer and the affect it has and I venture to say that the majority of the population doesn’t know either.

Find out this week. Take 5 minutes to google prayer scriptures or use your cell phone which we are on constantly. Anything to help connect us with God will help.

*Side Note: I think its ironic how we have trouble connecting with God when our culture is all about connecting but its more so with our cell phones. Have you ever heard someone freak out when their cell phone has no service?*

_C.Gates

Kryptonite

I constantly wonder how its possible for people to feel alone or that there is a lack of connection. We have the chance to connect with people anywhere, anytime. The Internet, video games, church, work, etc. But it dawned on me when I heard some lyrics from a song…

//And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us//

Plain and simple, it hit me like a dodgeball to the face – we are our own kryptonite. I cripple, distract, disconnect, divide, harm, hinder, chain myself. I once told someone that when their love for God was greater then their fear of failure, we’ll succeed. It’s about time I began to believe my own words.

_Rain_

It rained today.

Rain brings forth so many meanings and interpretations, all of which just depend on where you are at on your path entitled -Your Name’s- Life.

It brings forth reflection, where I have been and where that past guides me but doesn’t define me. It brings restoration, refreshment, comfort, sadness, hopelessness, despair, reaching out, etc. all of which can push or pull you from your goal.

I chose to listen to Coldplay – Fix You today as it rained. It was beautiful. Listen to the lyrics and you decide for yourself.

Where did the rain take you today? If it didn’t rain where you’re at then wait for it to rain and come back. I’ll be here.

_C.Gates